Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don’t trust them, but to see how much they’ll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go; not cause you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back. – Unknown
Reading through my Google Reader tonight I came across this quote. It says a whole hell of a lot of what I’m going through right now. Honestly, it’s just kinda creepy/weird that I see this quote tonight after getting the email I got from K.
No, things haven’t been all that rosy between the two of us. With fall, his job really picks up, not a bad thing at all – it brings in the money and makes him less stressed – however, it’s making me realize that I’m not a priority. And it’s making me question if I’ll ever be one. So, with a lot of thinking to be done, I’m in a bit of a funk. Do I stay and “fight” – and put forth all the effort, it seems – or do I let go? If I let go, I know that I’ll hope – hope that he’ll come to realize how important I am to him, hope that he’ll be aware enough to come back. And do I want to live on just hope? When did the switch happen? He was the one who said he didn’t care that he could only see me for less than 24 hours, he just wanted to be with me. What happened?
All I can do is ask a lot of questions, consume a lot of beer, pester my friends (y’all are angels to put up with me), and think. If you need me, that’s what I’ll be doing. Perhaps I’ll get around to writing that blog post that I’ve had kicking around since I became unemployed. Perhaps I’ll write about the annoyance at the nail salon today. If/when I do, I’ll still be thinking about this.
Sorry about the melodrama, peeps. I promise I’ll be back to “normal” soon. xoxo