For some reason, in the last few weeks my outlook on everything has been so damn negative. Quite honestly, I’m not all that sure why. It just seems like everything has just been on a downward spiral and I don’t know what to do to change it. I’ve tried being happy, that doesn’t work. Of course it’s not all that easy to be happy when you’re not sure why you’re so negative in the first place, but whatever.
Work, quite frankly, sucks. I don’t hate what I do – but I’m definitely not enjoying it anymore. I’m tired of working my ass off for someone who doesn’t give a crap about it – who doesn’t even care about the business she started. I have to do some serious thinking… as the shop is sub-leasing the space from me, I need to decide what to do. What’s the next step, though? I could go back to school, I could just pick up and move somewhere else… but none of that is feasible until I know what I want/what will make me happy. I’ve been avoiding the whole growing up thing, but it’s looking like I’m going to have to do it eventually. (Moving to Australia might be nice, but it is a bit drastic. Not that I haven’t thought about it daily.)
Perhaps the weather has a lot to do with it. I’m never the happiest of campers in the winter – the days are too damn short for my liking. I really do need sun and warmth to thrive – those huge snowfalls this winter didn’t help with that at all. Most people were really happy to be snowed in, and while I didn’t mind the first time (too badly), I spent the entire time I was forced to be at home worrying – about the shop. About the money I was losing by not being open – and the money I would be losing if I had been. There was no nice relaxation at all. Am I looking forward to losing the hour with Daylight Savings Time? Yup, because it’s one day closer to long sunny days – and closer to camping season. 🙂 (Which is what I keep reminding myself of…)