Steve: Tell me, from a girl’s point of view, what do you want in a guy?
Janet: Well, when I first moved out here from Tucson, I wanted a guy with looks, security, caring… Someone with their own place… Someone who said “bless you” or “gesundheit” when I sneezed. Someone who liked the same things as me, but not exactly. And someone who loves me.
Steve: Tall order.
Janet: Yeah, I scaled it down a little.
Steve: What is it now?
Janet: Someone who says “gesundheit,” although I prefer “bless you.” It’s nicer.
Don’t ask me why that scene from Singles has stayed with me for so many years. (If you know the movie, it’s the scene right before Janet goes into the plastic surgeon’s – played by Bill Pullman – office. This movie may have started my Campbell Scott and Bill Pullman love… but I digress.) I mean, it’s been *eighteen* freakin’ years since it came out (and yes, I did see this in the theaters), and this has stuck with me all that time. Over the years I went through phases of understanding with this scene… in my teens and early 20’s, I didn’t understand why Janet would compromise her wants like she was doing. In my late 20’s and early 30’s, I could totally see why she was compromising, even if I knew it wasn’t the best thing for her… and now that I’m entering my mid-30’s, I can see why she was compromising, but I’m all “that’s absolute bullshit. Find someone who appreciates you. Don’t fucking settle.”
I actually started this post back in October last year – I only got as far as the quote, then set it aside. With recent events, it’s still really relevant, to me at least. As I enter the last few months before I turn 35, I realize that there is no need for me to settle. Or think that I need to put up with things – even if my heart says to and I think that I may have met the perfect-for-me-person. Yeah, I’m single again. While I think that he was mostly perfect for me, there are just major things that I can’t and won’t put up with. I’m not going into all of that on here. Maybe I will another day… but that won’t be while the thought of it all still can make me weep. One thing I can be proud of is that I’m much stronger this time than I was last, I gave him a chance to explain himself, he did and I told him that while I loved him, I thought it was crap that he didn’t tell me what I needed to know.
So, yes, while I am definitely hurting, I am not settling. I’d rather be on my own (and can be) than deal with less than I deserve. I’m doing okay with this, but if you see me out or at the shop and I seem a little down or out of it, that’s why. If we’re out, buy me a drink. LOL.