Effing groundhogYou know, if you have hundreds of media outlets with all their cameras waiting at dawn, when it’s mostly DARK and they’ll need their lighting, OF COURSE THE DAMN GROUNDHOG IS GOING TO SEE HIS SHADOW. Of course he’s going to say that there’s 6 more goddamn weeks of winter. Hey Groundhog Club, I have an idea – why not just predict an early spring, just once? Maybe that’ll get more people interested in Punxsutawney, PA for more than just a day. Probably not, but hey, it’s worth a try, no?

How did this whole Punxsutawney Phil thing start anyway? And who gets to decide who the new “Phil” is when he goes to the Great Groundhog Hole In The Sky? Groundhogs only live about 10 years or so – and I stopped believing in “Groundhog Punch” about the time I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. Just sayin’. This is a hell of a lot of to-do over a rodent whose predictions have only been correct about 39% of the time.

In case you didn’t get to see it live this morning (and you can be sure I certainly didn’t, sleep is more important), here you go: