Dear Capitals,

You know I love you guys, right? Really, I do. I mean, y’all are the reason why I love hockey. Everything I learned, I learned at your games. Hell, I own a hell of a lot more Caps merchandise than I ever thought I would (since I’m not a sporty kind of girl).

Even with that, you CANNOT keep doing this to me – and the rest of your fans! You are a good team: young, talented, and hungry. Just what we need to finally get us to a Stanley Cup. But to get us there, we actually need to work on a few things: defense, possession, communication, penalties, showboating, and shots on goal. There is no reason that we should have a two to three goal LEAD and blow it all in the third period – especially in tonight’s game. There is an empty net, we can’t clear the puck from our end and we’re taking stupid penalties???? What the fuck?! We entered the third 5-2 after three goals in 88 seconds in the second and what do we do? We hand them two goals? Are we giving out early holiday gifts?

Don’t get me wrong. We won, that’s the important thing – a division game, no less. We needed that. We had a fucking incredible fluke of a goal from Schultzy – no one could do that again if they tried. I’m damn proud of you guys, but what happened in the third? We can’t afford to give it up at the end – and we don’t need anymore OTs and shootouts, because our track record isn’t the hottest with them.

Please, please, we need to work on this. I’m sure that Bruce won’t be happy with that third period and will let y’all know that. Listen. Apply it to Saturday’s game. Please. I really don’t want to go grey because of you. (I’m vain, what can I say?)

Much love – hugs and kisses,