See, Christmas is usually my absolute favorite holiday in the year. It’s always been my favorite, since I was a little girl. I never was a big fan of Halloween or Thanksgiving – I’m not a big fan of the food involved… and hey, presents weren’t involved. Halloween and Thanksgiving have always just served as place-markers in the calendar to mark off time until Christmas. When I was little, my parents always made it a point to make the holiday a big one for me, even when we didn’t have a lot of money. So Christmas holds a special place in my heart.
I’m one of those annoying people who start playing Christmas carols right after Thanksgiving, puts up a tree as soon as humanly possible, does lots of baking, will wear a Santa hat for the week leading up to Christmas, and will attempt to watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS every year, without fail. I mean, having worked in retail for most of my adult life, even annoying customers don’t usually bother me during the holidays.
So, why is it this year, I have no Christmas spirit? Why is it that this year the customers in the shop have annoyed me more and more? Why does the idea of putting a tree up, going shopping, and doing all the things that usually delight me just fill me with dread? It all started off fine. I was all excited for Christmas after seeing Santa come down Broadway in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – as that is the official kick-off to the Christmas season for me… and has always been. I just don’t know where it all turned. It seems like one day I was excited, and the next, I was dreading the very day. I mean, the other night I was just so pissed that the Christmas season wasn’t shaping up the way I had wanted it to (which wasn’t helped by the class that I’d taught that night) that I just broke it off with Christmas this year. Yes, I went as far as to say "Christmas. You. Me. Done for the year!" There were witnesses. (I think Aimee and Michelle might have been a little worried about me.) While I don’t think that I was full-out Grinch, there may have been some Grinchy behavior exhibited.
Now that it’s just minutes away, I look around and see that there’s no tree, no presents (but I knew that one was gonna happen anyway – my presents will come to me in the New Year), no real signs that Christmas day is tomorrow, save a batch of sugar cookies and A Christmas Story on the TV. And I’m not bothered by it. I’m more bothered and worried about the fact that I’m rather apathetic about it all. I know it must be bad, because even my mother noticed… and she’s the one who’s not into the whole "Christmas thing", as she puts it.
Maybe once it’s all over, I’ll get jazzed about 2007, because, with the exception of a few things (and people), 2006 royally sucked. I’ll be glad to see the end of it.
However, just when you get to that low point… something happens to give you a little boost. That happened when I opened my gift from one of my closest friends. I got it on Monday, but showed restraint in opening it until today. In addition to my gifts, Christmas cards, and the annual Christmas letter, there was a Thank You card for my birthday gift to her youngest son. In it, she asked me to be a godmother to her two sons. Which touched me so much, I began to cry. So, now I’m a godmother to three wonderful, handsome boys… all three of which fill my heart with joy.
Maybe this Christmas doesn’t suck too badly after all. But I’m still glad to see it go. Maybe next year will be better. Maybe Christmas and I can last the entire season. Check back with me next Christmas Eve and we’ll see.