To see me at work or in a crowd you wouldn’t think that I am insecure. But I am. About a lot of things. Right now, I’m stressing about my trip to NYC this weekend. Yes, I’m going up there to see Poker. Which fills me with glee. (Yes, I’m a dork, get over it.) Of course, I’m completely stressed while filled with glee. Why? Because there is the v. distinct possibility that Poker will see me naked. Stupid, I know. I’ve never been happy with my body – even when it was at its skinniest, about 8 years ago. I’ve never received any complaints about my body to give me this complex, I’ve just always had it. Plus, to add to the stress, it’s been awhile since I’ve had… well, you know. And we all know that I haven’t had the best track record when it’s come to visiting a boy. *sigh* Also, I’ve recently switched BC methods (from none to using the ring) and have been wondering if he’s gonna feel it? Should I tell him about it? My gynecologist’s advice of take it out if you’re worried doesn’t help. LOL.

Which leads me to another point… On the phone the other night, Poker and I were discussing friendships and how things like feelings and sex are discussed between the two sexes. For those who know me in real life, y’all know that I am totally frank about just about anything. Including sex. Most of my girlfriends are pretty similar as well. I forget how Poker and I got on the topic, but I ended up telling him that my friends and I are v. much like Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda from Sex and the City. While he understood that, he didn’t. If that makes any sense. He said that when guys talk about sex with friends, it consists of "hey, got laid… who’s got the next round of beers?" I mean, I knew that guys don’t talk about feelings with each other… but for some reason, I expected more than that. Not sure why. I mean, I have guy friends who will discuss feelings and such with me – because I’m a girl and know of such things. So why is it that women feel more comfortable discussing these things? Anyone got a suggestion?

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