So, I was driving home from visiting with friends this weekend and I
had a couple of hours to think about the varying degrees of "crazy".
Mainly because I’m feeling like a little slice o’ crazy right now.
(Well, there had to be something to spark it all off!)

A Little Slice O’ Crazy: wherein you let yourself get
annoyed that you have not heard from a certain guy within an
appropriate period (that he may or may not be aware of). You also get
annoyed with yourself that you are annoyed at him. In this stage, you
are still able to convince yourself to not make contact, as it is his
turn and you don’t want to seem desperate.

A Big Slice O’ Crazy: This stage is much like the
previous one, but you no longer get annoyed at yourself with being
pissed at him. Oh, and you’ve gone beyond just annoyed with him, you’re
flat out pissed. You may or may not be able to convince yourself to
make contact – however, this can be avoided with a well placed call to
a friend who will talk you out of it. This friend should be one on
speed-dial and should be able to describe just how bad desperate looks
on EVERYONE.

A Cake O’ Crazy: In this stage, you no longer care
about looking desperate – you may send multiple emails and leave
multiple voicemails – which will scare him off, if he hasn’t run from
the Big Slice O’ Crazy. (The LSOC and BSOC phases can seem cute to guys
at the beginning of dating/relationships – the COC never seems cute. DESPERATION IS NOT A CUTE THING, LADIES!)

A Bakery-full O’ Crazy: Fatal Attraction
no longer seems like a crazy movie.  Period. At this stage, your
friends have written you off as a lost cause and are warning the guy in
question to hide any pets they may have… especially bunnies. If they
are Project Runway fans, they may start calling you Vincent. I’m just sayin’… crazy
is the word. If you have reached this level of crazy, take an
anti-depressant or drink a bottle of wine with your closest friends –
and have them physically take your mobile away from you and turn it
off. With help (both professional and alcoholic), it’s not too late!

So, you may be able to tell… I haven’t heard from Poker in a
little while (and no, I’m not saying how long it’s been! I don’t need
anyone thinking I’m crazier than I already am!). I’m determined to stay
within the Little Slice O’ Crazy and hopefully, I’ll hear from him
soon. I’ll get over it – or get distracted… oooooh! Something shiny!
(LMAO!)

So, does anyone have any other levels of crazy to add? I’m sure I’ve forgotten a couple – I mean, I did compile this list while driving in the car tonight.

Advertisements