Okay, I know I have a weird fascination with Playboy, Hugh Hefner, and the history of the company (really, can anything other than a fascination with Playboy explain my love of The Girls Next Door?) – but who in the hell sold my name and address to the Playboy catalog? While I have a fascination, I don’t want to subscribe or get a shopping manual… LOL! (I admit, it has provided an hour or so of laughter while looking at it…) I’ve always said if I had the body for Playboy, I’d do it in an instant… I however don’t. LMAO!

My best friend and I are like sisters. I’m closer to her than I am my own sister – and our parents have always thought of us as their "other daughters" (her dad once asked if he could claim me as a deduction since I was over at their place often enough, lol). So when she got married and then pregnant, the pressure was off of me to find "Mr. Right" and procreate… which I couldn’t have been happier with. (Don’t get me wrong – I love kids, I’m pretty good with them… She’s even asked me to be her son’s Godmother! I just don’t want any of my own right now.) So, will someone tell me why my mother decided to, in the same breath, both tell me that I am a major fuck-up and will never give her grandkids? I know, she was in a mood, but Jesus Christ! You would think she would have figured by now that I am not academically inclined – I loved college, but was never motivated enough to finish anything. Which would be why I never finished. *roll eyes* And on the get married and have kids front? Well, using my family as an example, I think I’m much safer the way I am. Yes, I am the only non-pregnant/unmarried grandchild/great-grandchild in the family. (For reals.) I’m happy that way. If I meet the right guy, will I say no just to be contrary. No! But for fuck’s sake, let me just be me!

On the boy front: I hung out with some of the girls on New Years and ran into that guy, D2, at the bar we ended up at. On a second meeting, my opinion: what-the-fuck-ever. Let me give you some advice, D2: telling me how great your old car was at drunk driving in Colorado DOES NOT impress me. Also, hitting on me and some other chick at the same time, not impressive at all. It just made me think of B. Who I promptly texted at midnight. Who texted me back almost 3 hours later when it was almost midnight for him. Which made me think about moving heaven and earth to see him. Which I did. So I am heading out there in a mere 24 days – and he seems excited about it. Which makes me happy, v.v. happy. B is all proud of himself that he got me to relax enough to "play" on the phone… red wine works wonders, lol. There are times when I think that B and I are on the same page, then others where I wonder what the page I want to be on is… Trust me, I am not leaving LA without knowing what the page is. I mean, I’d like to know if I flew all the way across the country for a fuckation (you have got to read the post!) or for possibly more… wouldn’t you? (I will say that there are times when I wonder if he’s found this blog and read this post – go down to the "eight things" part of the meme – b/c if he hasn’t, he’s really attuned to me! Which means he’s a definite keeper!)

An update on the R situation (yes, I know, from way back when…): I was feeling quite charitable at the holidays and sent him an email from my new email addy just wishing him well and telling him that it was just too bad that things didn’t work between us, but hey, that’s life, right? Yes, I know, that was a hell of a lot more than he deserved. So, for some weird reason, I get the urge to check his account last night (don’t crucify me!) and see that he’s either read and deleted or just deleted my last email. Which I found hysterically funny. I think it’s strange that I wanted to do that, however, it has provided one thing: absolute closure. I knew that he didn’t give a shit before and now know it absolutely. I think what amuses me most is how I feel about it all: I think it’s funny. Is that strange? I don’t think that I have much of a feeling of loss b/c I mourned this so much so long ago… that and that I have a guy who is v.v. interested in me. That always helps. 😉

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