Eyes, lip… CHIN?!?!

Frida Kahlo was much harsher on herself in her self-portraits than in pictures taken of her.

Okay, without any scientific studies to back me up, I would assume that a good 80-85% of women worldwide wax (or shave) somewhere on their bodies. No, I’m not talking about “down there,” that’s another blog post. Or not. Whatever. Today, I’m talking about facial waxing.

Having the background that I do, it’s pretty obvious that any excess hair might be on the darker, more noticeable side. (KlassyMom is Latina and KlassyDad is Whitey McWhite, heh.) Now, unlike Frida Kahlo, if I stopped waxing/tweezing altogether, I would not have a unibrow or well defined mustache as in her self-portraits. (Thank goodness!) However, being the vain creature that I am, I don’t like my brows not being groomed.

I came to the waxing scene late – probably in my early 20′s – after having a makeover where the person giving me a new look suggested that I give it a try to “open up my eyes.” I didn’t believe her, but I gave it a shot and lo and behold, she was right. Once I discovered that, I wasn’t far from waxing the upper lip either. As I grow older, I notice the excess hair grows back quicker, is a bit darker – where I used to take care of things once a month or so, I now take care of the excess once every two weeks, when I get a manicure and pedicure.

So, last week I decided I needed a pedicure and to take care of my face. (No manicure because I have a hurt/wonky fingernail from the closing of the shop, so no manicures for a while.) I had a great pedicure and went in for the brow/lip wax. All was well, until after she was done with my brows and lip she asks, “your chin too?” Ummm, no. No. No. No. Do you see hair on my chin?! No. Soooo, that would mean NO. Of course I was much nicer in refusing her offer… but what the hell? You have to sign in for your services when you get there. If I don’t write it on the sign in form, I don’t want it. Period.

Now there may be some people out there who don’t understand the vanity… and I don’t expect y’all to. Hell, I have an agreement with my stylist (whom I’ve known since I was 12) that if she runs across grey hairs while I’m in her chair, to just take care of them, don’t even ask. She hasn’t had to deal with that yet, thankfully – the two that I’ve had, I found and took care of. Vain? Perhaps. Girly-girl? Definitely. Do I care that I am? No.

Rhinestones… down *there*??

I don’t know about you, but to me the idea of waxing completely bare down there, then adhering crystals to it seems to be a bit much. For those living under a rock, the procedure is called Vajazzling, a service started at the Completely Bare salon in NYC and is offered at a new salon in the DC area, Strippers Waxing Salon & Boutique. It was brought to the limelight when Jennifer Love Hewitt proclaimed that “every woman should get Vajazzled” on the George Lopez show back in January.

For those interested in the procedure, The Luxury Spot decided to go and have it done while filming it. (The clip that follows is not exactly NSFW, but you might want to exercise caution at work… There are no full on views of the vajayjay, thank God.)

I mean, watching this makes me think of how uncomfortable that could be. I mean, wouldn’t those rhinestones catch on underwear (which could hurt both you and the underwear)? Or scratch your partner during sex in certain positions? And the practicality of it. How long would it last? Of course you’d have to have them done whenever you got a brazilian, however, for $100 a pop (on top of whatever the charge is for the wax, if it’s not included), that gets pretty expensive. They’d have to come off during the regrowth period between waxes… I just couldn’t imagine doing it. Had to write about it though.

So, would you do it? If so, just because or for a special occasion?

Overheard at the nail salon earlier

“We’re just too old to have any more kids. I mean, I’m 32 and my husband’s 31. We’re just too old.”

Is it wrong that I wanted to ruin my fresh manicure by smacking her? When did 32 become “old”? Especially too old to have kids? Traditionally, 35 is considered on the “aged” side for a pregnancy, especially a first one. (Believe me, I know, I hear it from my gynecologist every year. Granted, she also tells me that if I ever change my mind about kids that she’ll get me knocked up no matter how old I am, lol.) Maybe I’m a bit sensitive, since I know I can’t have kids without a lot of help – that might be a reason why I’m okay with not having any – but I thought it was incredibly insensitive and rude of her to say that at her loudest speaking voice, not caring that others could hear every word she said.

The other woman in the salon at the time ended up exchanging “WTF” looks and ignored her – which wasn’t easy, but I crocheted and watched “Days of Our Lives” as if my life depended on it, just so I wouldn’t say a thing.

Good marketing = sucker = me

Those damn Girl Scouts and their Damn Cookies. Yup, I'm blaming them and their excellent marketing for the fact that if I can wear a bikini this summer and not look like a beached whale, it'll be an Act of God. It's like they know that I'm a sucker and they place their most innocent and sweet looking girls out there with the most pitiful looks on their faces that just cry out "If we can't sell all these cookies, they'll take away my uniform! Don't let that happen to us!".

I say this having had both of my (now adult) nieces go through Brownies. Cookie season was big in our house because my parents felt obligated to buy assloads of Damn Cookies from their adorable granddaughters. Luckily, they moved and decided they didn't want to be Brownies/Girl Scouts in their new home. Which was good for my wallet and waistline, though I still feel obligated to purchase a box (or two) from the poor Girl Scouts out in the cold, wintery weather. 

Hence, their good marketing – they set up in front of the Suntrust bank, directly across the street from the Starbucks closest to the shop on Saturdays and Sundays. I could walk across the street opposite them, then cross, but something draws me to them… like a moth to a flame, to sound cliche-d. *sigh* At least I got away with only these two boxes – and one of them isn't even for me! (Not a fan of Thin Mints… I get them for the shop.) … And, I haven't opened either of them – yet. We'll see how long I can go.

Also, in the good marketing – good packaging. I am a sucker for some good packaging – especially when I'm ordering crap off of the internet. Last week sometime I woke up to an email from Daily Candy featuring a new lip balm by Sara Happ. I'd never heard of her, but hell, I love getting new cosmetics, so of course I looked – and discovered that it is sold at Blue Mercury in Georgetown. Now, I don't go into Georgetown if I can help it (hate the crowds – and it's only bearable in the summer if you're on one of the boats docked there for the day. Not that that will be happening this summer, but I digress) so I went into the shop and ordered it. 

This morning there was a little box from them waiting for me on the doorstep – I'd forgotten all about it until just then. (They also didn't send me a confirmation email or delivery email. Something to think about when processing orders, Blue Mercury.) On opening the box, a gorgeous scent of roses wafted out (I later discovered that they had included dried roses as part of the filler) and buried under the filler were these two boxes, with bows on them like they were gifts! (Yes, I am easy to impress. Tell this to the guys I date.)

Of course I tried them out immediately. The lip scrub has a delicious taste of brown sugar (which, admittedly was overkill with the brown sugar in my oatmeal this morning – but they have a ton of other flavors) which was really easy to use. Just apply on your lips in a circular motion and wipe off with a tissue. A little messy, but it left my lips super-soft and not chapped at all! The lip slip has a really soft, creamy texture (think freshly whipped whipped cream) that's extremely emollient, but a little too sticky for my taste. It leaves a nice shimmer, though. Now, the website says it can be used for hands and cuticles as well, and while that may be, I wouldn't do it. Too damn sticky. I'll save the body butters for that and put this on while I lounge around in a silk robe and be utterly decadent. Or just wear it daily, whatever.